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[CNBC] Harvard doctor: Reducing stress and silencing your inner critic is key to reaching your goals
In 2024, 43% of adults said they felt more anxious than they did the previous year, according to an American Psychiatric Association poll. While the source of Americans' stress varies – the economy, gun violence and climate change – the effects are the same. We become unproductive, unmotivated, and our own worst critic.
That's because stress convinces us that we can't reach our goals, says Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, a Harvard physician.
When you feel a sense of stress your amygdala, the part of your brain that helps you process emotions, is on "high alert," she says. "It is thinking about survival and self-preservation. By design, your amygdala is focused on your immediate needs. What do I need to do in the immediate term to feel safe and secure again?"
That means the part of your brain that is used for goal-setting, called your prefrontal cortex, is being overpowered by this survivalist mindset, which makes it hard to exercise any critical thinking skills.
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"When you're feeling a sense of stress, that inner critic, that berating voice, has you say to yourself 'What's the matter with me?'" she says.
In her new book "The 5 Resets: Rewire Your Brain and Body For Less Stress and More Resilience" Nerurkar outlines a practice that can help you quiet that voice and bring more focus to your prefrontal cortex.
All you have to do is set a manageable goal. Instead of asking yourself "What's the matter with me?" ask "What matters most to me?," she says.
To do this, Nerurkar recommends following the MOST framework.
- Motivating: Pick a goal that has strong motivations behind it. Let's say you want to speak up more during work meetings because you want a promotion. That raise and title change would be your motivation.
- Objective: The goal should have a metric by which you can measure your success. How many times did you contribute during meetings this week? Record your progress.
- Small: The goal should be "small enough to virtually guarantee success," Nerurkar says.
- Timely: You should be able to reach your goal within a two to three month period. "It takes eight weeks to form a habit," Nerurkar says. This time frame give you enough room to make a mistake, slip up, and then recommit yourself to the goal. "Falling off and getting back on is part of habit formation," she says.
Tackling even the smallest accomplishment can boost your confidence, reduce your stress, and reset your mind to a place of positivity.
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